You’re Struggling Mentally…

Maybe you have been anxious.

Depressed.

Overwhelmed.

Angry.

Numb.

Exhausted.

Or just not quite yourself.

Maybe you are sleeping too much or barely sleeping at all.

Maybe your brain will not shut up.

Maybe concentrating on something simple feels strangely difficult.

Maybe you are technically functioning — going to work, answering messages, doing what has to be done — but nobody realizes how much effort it takes to appear okay.

Sometimes the hardest part is not even knowing what is wrong.

You just know this is not how you want to feel.

You do not need to have the perfect explanation before you ask for help.

“I’m having a hard time” is enough to begin.

You Don’t Have to Explain It Perfectly

One reason people put off asking for help is that they think they need to know exactly what is happening first.

You don’t.

You can tell a doctor, therapist, counselor, or someone you trust:

“I haven’t felt like myself lately.”

“I’m anxious all the time.”

“I’m functioning, but it is taking everything I have.”

“I’m not enjoying anything.”

“I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do.”

“I think I need some help.”

That is enough information to start a conversation.

You are not responsible for diagnosing yourself before you seek support.

Pay Attention to What Has Changed

You do not need to analyze every thought.

Just notice.

When did you start feeling different?

Are you sleeping?

Eating?

Getting out of bed?

Going to work?

Avoiding people?

Crying more?

Feeling nothing?

Using alcohol, food, shopping, scrolling, or something else to escape how you feel?

Are ordinary responsibilities becoming harder?

Are there certain situations that make things noticeably worse?

Most importantly:

Do you feel safe with yourself?

Writing some of this down can help, especially if your mind goes blank the second somebody asks:

“So, what brings you in today?”

Do the Smallest Useful Thing

When you are struggling mentally, advice can become another burden.

Exercise.

Meditate.

Journal.

Eat perfectly.

Sleep eight hours.

Practice gratitude.

Go outside.

Call your friends.

Fix your entire life by Tuesday.

No.

Pick one thing.

Drink some water.

Eat something.

Take a shower.

Change your clothes.

Open the curtains.

Step outside for five minutes.

Take medication that has been prescribed to you as directed.

Text someone.

Go to bed.

Turn off whatever is making your brain louder.

These things are not treatment for serious mental-health problems.

They are simply ways to care for yourself while you figure out what kind of help you need.

Tell One Person the Truth

Mental-health struggles can make you disappear.

You stop returning messages.

Cancel plans.

Say you are tired.

Say you are busy.

Say you are fine.

Sometimes you do not want advice.

You do not want questions.

You definitely do not want someone explaining how lucky you are.

You just need somebody to know.

Try:

“I’m having a rough time. I don’t need you to fix it, but can you check on me?”

Or:

“Can you sit with me while I make this appointment?”

Or:

“I don’t really want to talk about everything. I just don’t want to be alone tonight.”

Support does not always have to be a deep conversation.

Sometimes someone knowing the truth is enough for that day.

Find Help That Fits What You’re Dealing With

Different kinds of support do different things.

You might begin with:

• your primary-care provider
• a therapist or licensed counselor
• a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner
• a trauma or grief counselor
• a substance-use treatment or recovery program
• a community mental-health center
• a support group
• an employee assistance program
• someone in your faith community whom you trust

If you have no idea where to start, your primary-care provider can be a reasonable first stop.

You can also contact SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for treatment information and referrals related to mental health and substance use in the United States.

Finding the right therapist or treatment can sometimes take more than one attempt.

That is frustrating.

It also does not mean help “doesn’t work.”

Sometimes the first person simply is not the right person.

Medication Is Not a Moral Issue

Some people find medication helpful.

Some do not.

Some use it temporarily.

Some use it for years.

That is between you and the qualified clinician treating you.

If you are taking prescribed medication and it is not helping, is causing side effects, costs too much, or is difficult to manage, tell your prescriber.

Do not stop, restart, increase, or decrease psychiatric medication on your own without talking with the clinician managing it.

There is no prize for suffering without medication.

There is also no prize for taking medication you do not need.

The goal is appropriate care.

Anxiety Can Make Your World Very Small

Anxiety has an annoying way of convincing you that avoiding something will make you feel better.

And for a little while, it often does.

You skip the event.

Cancel the appointment.

Avoid the phone call.

Stay home.

Immediate relief.

Then the next time feels even harder.

If anxiety is part of what you are dealing with, try not to judge yourself for that pattern.

Notice it.

And make things smaller where you can.

Maybe you do not attend a three-hour event.

Maybe you stay thirty minutes.

Maybe you do not walk into a room alone.

Maybe you bring somebody.

Maybe the appointment is by video.

Maybe you write down what you need to say before you call.

The goal is not to become fearless.

It is to keep fear from making every decision.

Depression Can Look Like More Than Sadness

Sometimes depression looks like crying.

Sometimes it looks like sleeping.

Or irritability.

Or not answering anyone.

Or staring at your phone for two hours while being unable to do the one simple thing you actually needed to do.

It can look like losing interest in things.

Feeling detached.

Moving slowly.

Feeling exhausted.

Feeling like everybody needs too much from you.

Or wondering why you cannot seem to care about things you know you should care about.

You do not have to decide whether what you are experiencing “counts” as depression before you bring it up with a professional.

If something has changed and it is interfering with your life, that matters.

You Do Not Have to Turn Pain Into Positivity

Sometimes people are uncomfortable when we are not okay.

So they give us sayings.

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“Choose happiness.”

“Just focus on the positive.”

“Other people have it worse.”

That may work for somebody.

It does not work for everybody.

You are allowed to say:

“This is really hard.”

You are allowed to be grateful for parts of your life while still struggling with other parts.

You are allowed to have faith and still feel depressed.

You are allowed to pray and see a therapist.

You are allowed to believe things can get better without pretending they are fine right now.

Protect Your Energy Where You Can

Sometimes your mental health needs boundaries.

Less news.

Less social media.

Less access for the person who leaves you wrecked every time you talk.

Fewer commitments.

More sleep.

A quieter weekend.

A delayed decision.

You may need to say:

“I can’t do that right now.”

“I need some time.”

“I’m going home.”

“I’m not discussing this today.”

Boundaries will not cure anxiety or depression.

But constantly exhausting yourself does not usually help either.

If You Feel Unsafe

If you are thinking about suicide, harming yourself, or harming someone else, treat that as something that needs immediate support.

In the United States, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

If there is immediate danger or a life-threatening emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.

If making the call yourself feels impossible, tell another person:

“I am not safe by myself right now.”

Let someone stay with you or help you connect with immediate support.

You do not have to manage a crisis privately.

Some Days the Goal Is Simply Getting Through the Day

Not every day needs progress.

There may be days when making the appointment is the accomplishment.

Or getting dressed.

Or answering one message.

Or eating.

Or not canceling therapy.

Or getting through an hour that felt impossible.

Then there will be days when you can do more.

Mental-health recovery is rarely a straight line.

You may have a good week and then a terrible Tuesday.

That does not erase the good week.

You’re Allowed to Need Help

If isolation is part of what you are dealing with, you may also want to read You’re Alone More Than You Expected.

Sometimes mental health and loneliness feed each other, and it helps to name both.

You do not have to wait until everything falls apart.

You do not have to prove that your suffering is serious enough.

You do not have to compare yourself with someone who “has it worse.”

If your mind has become a difficult place to live, that is reason enough to pay attention.

Tell somebody.

Make the appointment.

Ask the question.

Accept support.

And if today is one of the days when even that feels like too much, make the task smaller.

One call.

One text.

One honest sentence.

Start there.